#intersexed infant care

[metamatar]

https://www.jstor.org/stable/3174605 I think you'll like this :D

You were right. From the 1990's, so maybe this marks a seminal and widely known advance in gender construction for intersexed infants now but it is so revealing. Quotes pulled below.

Current attitudes toward the intersex condition are primarily influenced by three factors. First are the extraordinary advancements in surgical techniques and endocrinology in the last decade. For example, female genitals can now be constructed to be indistinguishable in appearance from normal natural ones. Some abnormally small penises can be enlarged with the exogenous application of hormones, although surgical skills are not sufficiently advanced to construct a normal-looking and functioning penis out of other tissue. Second, in the contemporary United States the influence of the feminist movement has called into question the valuation of women according to strictly reproductive functions, and the presence or absence of functional gonads is no longer the only or the definitive criterion for gender assignment. Third, contemporary psychological theorists have begun to focus on "gen- der identity" (one's sense of oneself as belonging to the female or male category) as distinct from "gender role" (cultural expectations of one's behavior as "appropriate" for a female or male). The relevance of this new gender identity theory for rethinking cases of ambiguous genitals is that gender must be assigned as early as possible in order for gender identity to develop successfully. As a result of these three factors, intersexuality is now considered a treatable condition of the genitals, one that needs to be resolved expeditiously.

...

Almost all of the published literature on intersexed infant case management has been written or cowritten by one researcher, John Money, professor of medical psychology and professor of pediatrics, emeritus, at the Johns Hopkins University and Hospital, where he is director of the Psychohormonal Research Unit. Even the publications that are produced independently of Money reference him and reiterate his management philosophy. Although only one of the physicians interviewed publishes with Money, all of them essentially concur with his views and give the impression of a consensus that is rarely encountered in science. The one physician who raised some questions about Money's philosophy and the gender theory on which it is based has extensive experience with intersexuality in a nonindustrialized culture where the infant is managed differently with no apparent harm to gender development. Even though psychologists fiercely argue issues of gender identity and gender role development, doctors who treat intersexed infants seem untouched by these debates. There are no renegade voices either from within the medical establishment or, thus far, from outside. Why Money has been so single-handedly influential in promoting his ideas about gender is a question worthy of a separate substantial analysis

...

The geneticist argued that when parents "change a diaper and see genitalia that don't mean much in terms of gender assignment, I think it prolongs the negative response to the baby…. If you have clitoral enlargement that is so extraordinary that the parents can't distinguish between male and female, it is sometimes helpful to reduce that somewhat so that the parent views the child as female." Another physician concurred: parents "need to go home and do their job as child rearers with it very clear whether it's a boy or a girl."

...

Money's case management philosophy assumes that while it may be difficult for an adult male to have a much smaller than average penis, it is very detrimental to the morale of the young boy to have a micropenis.In the former case the male's manliness might be at stake, but in the latter case his essential maleness might be. Although the psychological consequences of these experiences have not been empirically documented, Money and his colleagues suggest that it is wise to avoid the problems of both the micropenis in childhood and the still undersized penis postpuberty by reassigning many of these infants to the female gender.

[mueritos]

a little strange to get dms from other trans people saying they agree with biden's dumb statemet that he doesnt want minors getting gender-affirming care. if you really think its such an epidemic that 13 year olds are getting their knockers blown off by surgeons every other day, then please point me in the direction of said 13 year olds that are somehow accessing gender-affirming care that literal trans adults can't even access.

like please be fr. we literally have privatized healthcare and insurance where not even people who go through the appropriate avenues can get approved for care they need to stay alive. what makes you think a trans minor is getting phallo or vaginalplasty. feel whatever you want about 13 year olds who want gender-affirming care, but dont parrot transphobic rhetoric that is based on no facts and a moral panic. they second they legitimize barriers to care for trans minors is the second they start finding ways to do the same for trans adults. dont be a buffoon.

[gillyeowalters]

To this day, many intersex people are mutilated as infants or toddlers.

From malevolent attempts to make their bodies more visually appealing to completely forcing them into a male/female binary.

Please do not just use our suffering as a 'gotcha' moment to own TERFS and other fascists. Please do not forget about us.

Edit: Also, not all parents know what is done to their child. Sometimes, they are lied to, and they are told that the surgery is necessary or even life-saving. Sometimes they are left completely oblivious, like in my case.

Having your child under the care of female staff/doctors does NOT matter. The surgeon who decided to operate on me was female.

For better readability:

Sometimes they can't wait to clip your wings.

I was two days old.

I was supposed to be a moth.

Instead I had to be pretty.

I seek healing.

I denied the false cocoon.

I'd rather be a clipped moth than a forced butterfly.

I sadly do not know how to properly ID something. Other users have reblogged with IDs however, thank you for your work.

[hiiragi7]

Some notes on intersex invisibility, from an intersex person...

Often people tell me, "I have never met an intersex person before," and they assume that we are simply rare by nature rather than continuously, purposefully, and violently eradicated. Intersex people themselves are not rare, rather the opposite; we are born all the time, everywhere. We are common variation by nature - Our perceived rarity is wholly man-made, caused by the purposeful destruction of our bodies and our identities.

The concept of intersex as rare is used to further our eradication by design; When PGD is used to terminate intersex embryos, when intersex infants and children are operated on to "normalize" them, when intersex people are not told about their own variation, when intersex people are told they have "disorders" they must be treated for but the word "intersex" is never so much as uttered, when we are isolated from each other and prevented from building our own communities, when medical institutions attempt to narrow down what falls under "intersex" to make our statistics appear smaller, when we are forcibly made as invisible if not as non-existent as possible - it is no wonder we would be assumed a rarity.

Those unaware often even assume our perceived rarity is natural, passive, and neutral, rather than created, gory, and methodical. This, too, I believe is purposeful; our destruction is largely hidden and we are silenced by this assumed-to-be fact of rarity. The details that people may come to learn about our mutilation are also made palatable, even understandable, through the lens of pathology; we are presented not as people who are mutilated and destroyed for who we are, but rather as sick patients with an unfortunate (but always rare) illness undergoing necessary treatment to hopefully lead fulfilling, "normal" lives. In this way, doctors are framed as our saviors rather than our executioners, and those who buy into our rarity and abnormality become complicit in our invisibility.

As intersex people, we carry the consequences of this deep within ourselves; whether it is in the form of literal scars, doubt and insecurities about our own claim to our identities and our bodies, isolation from others like ourselves and a deeply felt loneliness, an inability to access safe medical care or knowledge about our bodies, or a variety of other traumas, our community is suffering. To have that pain made so invisible, so insignificant, so pathologized, only serves to ensure our abuse and destruction is continued.

[genderqueerdykes]

I wanted to offer some additional advice to those trying to figure all this out. Learn the terms doctors use *instead* of intersex or even DSD. Many can and will do everything they can to hide it from you, often out of a misplaced desire to spare you stress. In my case it was "corrective surgery as an infant" and "PCOS" and "malformed uterus" and "genetic resistance to certain hormones" and "atypical responses" to medications. Anything BUT "intersex." I was 38 before I was able to put it all together and start actually seeking intersex friendly care. Knowing that things like "hormonal imbalance" and such were actually a cover for saying intersex, I would have been able to seek out proper care much sooner and suffered much less permanent damage to my body. Hope that helps someone avoid what I went through! ^_^

thank you, that's extremely helpful advice! i really appreciate this! especially if youre trying to find care like this person mentions, often times saying you're looking for intersex specific care won't yield any results. there's actually a lot of medical stigma around the term and most people who are intersex are never told they are with that word. thanks for the help!

[heartgold]

I think a lot about the way polydactyly is described in umineko ep1 because of the emphasis on the surgery to remove the extra digit often being done in early infancy (therefore without consent), with the intent of making the person "normal" while they grow up not even knowing about it...

of course this hints at sayo having her extra toe removed to hide her relation to kinzo, but I can't help but think about how it's specifically described in a way that evokes infant genital mutilation, especially considering sayo's backstory. all of her character reads like an allegory for intersex experiences imo, which also adds to her trans narrative. a major source of her suffering lies in how her gender struggles were complicated further by the reveal that her body was operated on without her knowledge, which led to sexual dysfunction and infertility.

the narration talks about the polydactyly surgery and reiterates the topic of bodily autonomy (already a big topic in umineko's first episode with the discussion of reproductive commodification of women's bodies) by mentioning how infants can be operated on to "fix" a part of their bodies to fit the idea of what "normal bodies" are like. the parallel to the mutilation of intersex bodies is very obvious to me. in sayo's case it was done as treatment for physical injuries rather than a literal intersex condition, but the narrative centering the violation of her autonomy persists with how she has her body altered and is denied the truth, having never had any means to cope with the inherent trauma of it all because the priority of genji&co was always to cover up anything that could implicate kinzo. she gets everything on her birth records falsified and she is intentionally kept in the dark about her own life. her entire personhood is erased. again drawing parallels to intersex experiences, doctors and parents will lie about it your entire life if they can get away with it. it's not uncommon to only find out you were operated on and/or forced on hrt as an adult!

even umineko's overarching theme about the nuances of truth vs magic can be read as an intersex narrative... it's a common experience to find out you were being denied your truth and made to live a lie "for your own sake". that truth may be unrecoverable and kept from you forever and all you can do is grieve it. your body is made into a catbox. I don't want to get too personal but some parts of confessions were chilling to read because of how similar they were to my experiences as an intersex person and I had never seen these very specific things portrayed anywhere. of course I can't claim to know the authorial intent, but it hit hard even as an allegory.

intersex and trans struggles aren't 1:1 the same but they have a lot of overlap, especially in regards to bodily autonomy, medical abuse and the gender assignment of bodies upholding a strict binary. trans people are denied transition while intersex people are forced through it, so a character like sayo who portrays that intersection of being both with such care is very precious. her struggles are strongly rooted in transmisogyny, intersexism, class and family, all which had her systemically disempowered, dehumanized and stripped of autonomy and agency.

her actions are a desperate gambit to gain some control over her own life, to be in charge of the narrative even if it's through selfdestruction. the horrors in umineko converge into the theme of systemic powerlessness and denial of autonomy. to be made into a piece. all of it combined makes up the multilayered meaning of furniture.

[theforesteldritch]

This is going to be hard to articulate properly, but I feel like there's a strange phenomenon where some people will amplify intersex people on the topic of IGM and condemn IGM without issue (which, to be clear, in and of itself, is a good thing) but then are entirely ignorant to, sometimes because of genuine ignorance, but too often due to the equivalent of plugging their ears and going 'lalala I can't hear you', the issue of medical abuse when it comes to older intersex people. I saw someone once agreeing with how horrific and damaging IGM is- but then proceeded to essentially accuse intersex people of lying about our experiences of medical abuse in our teens and later, often when it comes to puberty. And unfortunately, a lot of this that I've seen comes from other queer people.

Which just. Is incomprehensible to me, mostly because I've lived through medical abuse based off of being intersex, but I think it speaks to the way people view victims of oppression and abuse. They want to be seen as allies, because they know that in terms of optics, it's bad to be silent on the oppression of other marginalized people, but they don't want to examine or even consider their own underlying biases and their intersexism.

Saying 'yeah, I'm against the medical abuse of babies', but ignoring what older intersex people face is seen as fine, because babies are almost treated as the perfect victims: victims of this systemic oppression, yet also fundamentally don't understand this oppression yet, because, well, they're infants. Babies are unable to express themselves (at least until said babies grow up), and so while everyone can agree that hurting babies is bad, those babies can't push back against other biases against intersex people that someone might have. You can, and have to, speak for babies, because they can't speak for themselves, but a baby also can't challenge intersexist beliefs the same way an older or adult intersex person can. It's easy to stand up for a group that can't tell you you also have the capacity to harm us.

And so when an older intersex person says, 'hey, this is medical abuse that I went through because I'm intersex', that statement is suddenly treated with doubt, especially when it someone challenges someone's worldview. 'I was forced on HRT as a teen and that was bad' becomes uncomfortable to condemn, because that's seen as something that could challenge, say, their experiences and access to HRT, and they're unwilling to think critically and look at that from a nuanced and deeper perspective: they see our fight against oppression as a challenge to their fight, ignoring that our underlying goals align: bodily autonomy and the right to informed, non-coercive consent. They can only see the issue from the perspective of someone who, say, wants to ban HRT, because they don't want to budge an inch to anything that 'validates' that take; they can only see 'medical abuse that I went through was bad and shouldn't happen' as 'See, this is why HRT is always bad and why this should be banned,' even though the same people who want to ban and restrict HRT also want the freedom to continue to abuse intersex people. It's a fundamentally defensive position that throws intersex people to the curb because people don't want to acknowledge and make space for nuance; it's considered too 'difficult'. 'I went through something bad because it stripped me of my bodily autonomy' is seen as 'I went through something bad and so I want to strip your bodily autonomy', and this fundamental misunderstanding and this caving to internalized bias against intersex people becomes a tool to attempt to try to better a perisex person's own material conditions on the backs of intersex people. It of course doesn't work, we're all crabs in a bucket fighting for air, but people don't seem to understand that, or they just don't care.

No one is immune to intersexism. You don't get to claim to be an ally when you'd try to drown the other crabs in the bucket to try and hope of being able to get more access to the air. But people don't want to confront or examine the fact that they're someone capable of harm, someone capable of expressing hurtful beliefs. And so it devolves into attempts to delegitimize anything anyone who tells you that you are in fact being hurtful.

[intersex-support]

Image description: [ First slide is a logo that combines trans and intersex flags by putting trans colors inside the purple circle. Text says #Trans intersex solidarity. The rest of the slides have text that reads: Gender affirming care for trans teens is under threat - and the same bills force surgeries on intersex babies. 90 of the 120 gender affirming healthcare ban bills in states across the USA have carve outs to permit nonconsensual surgeries on intersex infants. That's 75%! This is why we need #TransIntersexSolidarity!

Eradicating our sex traits, our genders, our bodies, is eradicating us.States are segregating trans, nonbinary, and intersex people into false sex and gender binaries by simultaneously forcing trans+ youth to detransition AND authorizing non-consensual interventions on intersex infants and children. We can’t let them. The accelerating gender and sex apartheid must be stopped. #TransIntersexSolidarity

Legislators: So you want to save the children? Here's how. Protect youth by preserving their rights to bodily autonomy and self-determination. Protect youth by letting them be their authentic selves. Let trans, nonbinary & intersex youth make their own choices about their own bodies, when they are informed and ready. #TransIntersexSolidarity

Solidarity from intersex communities with trans+ youth in the United States and across the globe! [body] Some people are trans and/or nonbinary. Some people are intersex. Some people are both trans+ and intersex. We are all united in our shared birthrights to be both free from interventions we do not want and to have access to the gender affirming care we do want. #TransIntersexSolidarity]

Sharing these graphics from @intersexawareness on Instagram. Trans and intersex communities have always been tied together, and right now both of us are under attack. Solidarity is more important than ever!

[cpunkwitch]

Happy disability pride month to:

- quadriplegics and paraplegics

- ambulatory and non ambulatory mobility aid users

- folks with prosthetics, stents and replacements

- jaw pain and other mouth issue havers

- folks with spine issues

- folks with deformed limbs and/or facial features

- folks with chronic pain and or fatigue

- folks with comorbidities

- folks with animal support

- folks with human support

- the bedridden / bedbound

- disabled folk struggling to live on their own

- folks with living assistance

- disabled folk stuck living with others (be it family, roommates etc, toxic or otherwise)

- the blind (of any range)

- disabled poc and disabled bipoc

- disabled queers

- disabled folk with sensory issues

- employed and unemployed disabled folk

- self employed disabled folk

- cripples of all sorts

- those with fibromyalgia, any range of arthritis and autoimmunities

- disabled punks

- folks unable to get aids and assistance

- disabled folk in debt

- chronic migraine and headache havers

- disabled artists

- disabled gardeners

- disabled pet owners

- disabled witches

- disabled heathens and pagans alike

- disabled cis, trans, intersex, altersex and nonconforming folk

- disabled adults

- disabled youth

- disabled folk into sports

- the visibly and invisibly disabled

- the frequent hospital visitors

- disabled adoptees

- birth defect havers

- those disabled through birth, genetics or incidents/injuries

- amputees

- those with rare and incurable conditions

Unhappy month to:

- ableists

- able bodied folk using the term cripple and/or trying to be in the cpunk community

- fakeclaimers

- able bodied people who use rescources that aren't meant for them and/or complain about them

- people who claim glasses and other non mobile related disability aids are mobility aids.

- people who continue to use slurs they can't reclaim as well as general offensive/ableist language (cripple, psycho etc)

- people who talk over the disabled

- people who mock others for their conditions and trauma

- anti-recovery folk

- people refusing to give support that's needed/asked for (meds, aids, company etc)

- anti-vax bitches

- those who don't care about the autoimmune and don't take proper steps like wearing a mask when required and WASHING YOUR DAMN HANDS

- scammers and people who take advantage of those in need

- people who harass disabled people for "proof" or an explanation on their conditions

- people who touch mobility aids without asking

- people who use others addictions as a reason not to support them

- those who think disabled and deformed folk are unsightly

- the anti-homeless

- the "you're not disabled you shouldn't use that" karens

- people who use the disabled for inspiration porn (the "wow you're so strong despite your disability" bs)

- those who treat the disabled like fragile infants

- those who take things away from disabled folk for whatever reason

- those who think disabled people shouldn't have kids or pets

- people using the disabled and/or homeless for clout

- able bodied people using mobility aids just for cosplay

- claiming disabled folk can't cosplay a certain character either because "that mobility aid ruins the cosplay/the character is able bodied" or whatever other reason.

- people who insist disabled folk can't live on their own

- people who try to control or criticize how disabled folk spend their money

- people who think using disabilities, disorders and deformities as the butt of a joke is funny

- people who complain about accessibilities

[genderisareligion]

I've said it on here before but I saw something yesterday that makes me think I should say it again: the queer community is actively stealing and intentionally obfuscating the terms AFAB and AMAB which were exclusive to the intersex community before and they need to be shamed harder for it.

The only people on Earth who can ever be "assigned a gender" (sex) are intersex people. No, you "feeling like a woman" because you're gay or played with girls toys does not compare to intersex oppression. Originally this terminology was only used specifically to describe what happens when intersexist doctors surgically correct infants and children to make them appear perisex. You and I and 99% of us as perisex people have never and will never have this experience.

My source on this isn't exact but I got it straight from the mouth of an intersex woman who IIRC got termed for telling too many trans people to stop appropiating, if you scroll long enough through this archive you'll probably see her bring it up

[lordmushroomkat]

《The strong association of PCOS with cis womanhood, the defining of it as a disorder or syndrome, and its framing as a “women’s health issue” obscures the fact that PCOS is a natural hormonal variation, an endocrine difference that is illustrated through secondary sex characteristics. 

During my initial search for resources and community, I also learned that PCOS, given its characterization as a hormonal variance, falls under the intersex umbrella. This intersex umbrella covers a wide range of “individuals born with a hormonal, chromosomal, gonadal or genital variation which is considered outside of the male and female norms,” and PCOS meets that definition. 

This is not an attempt to sway every person who has PCOS to identify themselves as intersex—though it is an acknowledgment that we have the option and the right to do so if it rings true to us. Rather, this is to say that shifting my perspective on PCOS and viewing it through an intersex lens allowed me to better understand it as a natural human variation rather than an affliction causing my body to do the “wrong” thing. 

“I believe that someone with PCOS has every right to use the term intersex for themselves if they want, but I also understand it if they don’t,” said writer and intersex advocate Amanda Saenz.

“As an advocate and an intersex person, I opt to use a definition of intersex that is open ended and expansive,” Saenz explains. “The experiences that a term like ‘intersex’ hopes to define include differences in hormonal production and hormone reception, and the phenotypic effects these differences have on the body. To me, this is inclusive of things like PCOS.”

Discussing PCOS in this way is often met with indignation and resistance. Our society has a hard time separating gender from sex. This has resulted in a widespread misunderstanding of intersex identity as equivalent to transgender identity. Many who vehemently resist the idea of PCOS being under the intersex umbrella do so because they categorically link “female” with “woman,” and therefore misinterpret any acceptance of intersex identity as a denial of womanhood. Moreover, the stigma around and marginalization of intersex communities prevents many people from feeling comfortable with embracing it. 

“You can be intersex and cisgender, transgender, or nonbinary. The ‘opposite’ of intersex is endosex, not cisgender,” explained Eshe Kiama Zuri, founder of U.K. Mutual Aid. As a nonbinary intersex person, Zuri approaches these ideas with a clear understanding of how the bodies of intersex individuals as well as many people with PCOS interrupt binary thinking about both sex and gender. 

“The resistance to PCOS falling under the intersex umbrella is due to a white supremacist society’s desperation to cling to binary genders, which we know [have been] used as a colonial tool of control,” they offer. 

The same medical and surgical interventions that legislators seek to ban trans and nonbinary people from accessing—which would be gender-affirming, life-saving care for them—are often forced on intersex infants and children who are unable to consent. This is done in efforts to align intersex bodies with social expectations of female and male, man and woman; the same logic undergirds the societal and medical pressure to “feminize” the female-assigned bodies of PCOS patients. 

PCOS is “shockingly common [and] the most frequently occurring hormone-related disorder.” However, according to Medical News Today, “up to 75% of [people] with PCOS do not receive a diagnosis for their condition.” If we were to understand and accept something like PCOS as intersex, considering how “shockingly common” it is, the dominant idea of binary sex, with intersex being thought of as nothing more than a fringe occurrence, would be shattered. 

“PCOS is only one of many conditions that could fall under the intersex umbrella, and care for people with PCOS would be considerably better if it wasn’t for the forced gendering and resistance to providing actual support for people with PCOS, even if it challenges society’s ideas of gender,” says Zuri. 

Combating myths built around the gender and sex binaries would create more space to understand PCOS traits as part of normal human variation, rather than inherent problems to be fixed, symptoms to be eradicated. As Zuri so beautifully put it, “When we start to accept that this is not a body behaving ‘wrong’ and it is just a body, we stop blaming and punishing people for how their bodies work and start challenging societal expectations.”》

I was fucking right!

[littlelightbolt]

Finding Prowl - Chapter Five: Nemo

[55 cycles into capture]

Mabye, Primus had answered his call. The baby's fever broke in the evening, just as the crowds started to dwindle and the skeleton crew remained. The overhead lights had dimmed, signalling night-time in the above world. The worst was over but they weren't out of the blue yet. Muscles atrophied from malnutrition and sickness, the little one was still too weak to move on their own. Being cybertronian, the dim was no bother on their vision but it was still a trek from their cove to the surface of their tank to breach. Prowl had to use his body as a buoy to float the little one as they took small gulping breathes.

In between the surfacing intervals, Prowl was all but left to his thoughts, gazing aimlessly at the other mers outside his glided cage. To recharge now would only invite nightmares, an act that could potentially rob the little one of their recharge. So Prowl opted to settle in for a long night. It wasn't like he hadn't done so before. He simmered in the surrealness of his situation. The little life now here with him. Tired, his mind ebbed and rose with the cries of the humpback mer. There would be no singing for him tonight as thoughts came from all new directions. They drowned him.

'Where were their mother now? What had happened to them? Captured? Killed? What of their pod? How long had the baby been alone for? What had they been witness to?

His ATS concluded that the sparkling would most likely be from one of the small nomadic neutral pods originating around the northern hemisphere. One of many remaining neutrals that hadn't left the planet in time before the collision. War-ravaged Cybertron had been a wasteland. If there was one good thing to come out of the planetary collision millions of years ago, it was the new fuel source it provided. Earth-Cybertron was an abundant resource of which all mecha took their fill. Sparklings while still not common were finally not a rarity to their dwindling race outside of the major factions.

As an autobot and as SIC, Prowl had always been preoccupied. The wars with the Decepticons, dealing with outside operations [the Wreckers], trying to contact what remains of their race beyond the stars and even that one occasion the Quintessons had crashed in wanting to enslave them. He had been at the forefront of those operations. Post war, it had narrowed down to evading humans and keeping the peace on Cybertron. Post war, childcare had never been one of his priorities, nor an option he thought to pursue. He did not have a romantic partner nor any time to invest in one. J....The terror twins and Hot Rod were child enough for him. To be honest, he had never seen a sparkling up until Chromedome and Rewind first introduced their sparkling to the colony and hadn't that done a number on his spark.

Caught in the memory, the words of Ultra Magnus washed over him. "- I think your the loneliest mech I've ever met."

In his tank, he looked over himself. Scars and healing flesh. A shattered mind. He could barely take care of himself most days, how can he take care of a sparkling? Could they even eat solid foods yet?

When he had fed the sparkling kelp, a quick look at the sparkling's intake showed they only had two sparkling teeth jutting out of their top gum. From their size, Prowl assumed the sparkling was more toddler than infant. If the little one hadn't been weaned, he would have to be soon. Milk was not a worry at least. All cybertronians were intersex, but for the majority of cybertronians carrier coding had to be activated by an actual kindling. Being initially a public service servant, Prowl was made with the standard carrier protocols buried in place for the event such as these. Prowl could already feel the changes within him. A good sort of soreness to accompany the many aches. At the most he estimated that it would take at least until the morning for his pouches to fill.

Prowl didn't know how to feel about that. He will experience his first feeding before his first kindling, alone. A funnily sad thought that this was the first milestone that Prowl would share with a little one.

A thought struck him then, a designation. He didn't know the little ones' designation. In the day's events, Prowl hadn't even thought to try and ask for one. 'Could the little one even speak?' Prowl mulled it over looking down sparkling tightly clutching his chest in sleep. Their skin was still slightly flushed, eyes furrowed in their sleep. Mabye, they weren't really of a mind to tell him a designation anyway.

The remainder of the night was spent in silence, his ATS circling around his bare-bones escape plans, his current physical changes situation, the baby, and a designation to call them by. J..... Somewhere in between Prowl dropped off into a light doze.

The early morning arrived without much fanfare, the lights above returned to their usual blistering white. The human staff handover began. Splashing overhead roused Prowl from his rest. Food had arrived. Leaving the sparkling to their slumber, Prowl waited for the humans to back away before approaching the low ledge that served as their interaction platform.

Having been here long enough that rejecting food from them was in the past, Prowl had been a little surprised when the human workers had given him his usual ration of stale fish and a little bottle of milk beside it. Opening the bottle for a quick sniff made him gag. This milk was definitely NOT going into that sparkling's intake. Surely humans knew that much. It irritated Prowl that even with all their research and advancements, of knowing about his kinds general way of life, that they couldn't even synthesis the correct sustenance.

Incompetent fools.

He chucked the bottle back at the pair of handlers standing by the door and managed to hit the one with the badge "Spike W" in the head with it. The human squawked and turned back to glare at him. The absolute hate in their eyes gave Prowl a little satisfaction as he dove back down. He stopped at the entrance to his cove. A quick check revealed his pouches were ready to go, while not as pronounced as a femme's his chest seemed to have more curves to it already. He felt the heaviness in them. It was time. Awkwardly he reached out a hand, gently shaking the little one's shoulder. A couple of shakes made the little one release a little whine that almost made Prowl withdraw. Prowl pushed through it. The little one opened their bleary eyes to glare at him. They gave off a moody huff, curling up further to hide their face in the sand. It was kind of cute. A small smile graced Prowl's faceplate. Sass was a sign that the little was on the up and up in recovery. As new as the situation was to him, sass was a familiar attitude that Prowl could always handle.

The new code within him had settled well enough. It whispered that to recover, the little one needed to eat. Prowl followed along with it's directives, settling next to the sparkling before lifting them up gently into the crook of his arms. The new foreign programming guided his movements. The little one was only surprised by the slight jostle before settling into the new position. With steady hands he didn't know he possessed, he brought the little's intake to his chest and waited. To his relief the little one did as he had hoped, quickly latching on to suckle.

The sensation of something rushing out of him was WEIRD to say the least. Prowl shivered a little as the first drops escaped him. It tilted between being ticklish and soothing, he made sure to hold on well to the little one as he rode the sensations. The little one ate well. With one problem down with minimal resistance, Prowl felt a little lighter in his chest. Silently, Prowl congratulated himself on his achievement.

As the little one suckled, a little hand curled around one of his digits. Seeing and feeling the size difference between them made Prowl's mind stall. Not for the first time, the gravity of the situation seemed to crash over him, yet it felt like distant ocean waves. This sparkling was doing things to him. Things he had felt before in another different light, many vorns ago. It unnerved him a little how quickly he had come to care for the little one, in this cage of stale smells and dead sounds. He had never felt such feelings come on so quickly. Not with Chro....., not with Mesothulas, never with Sentinel. He couldn't remember a time where these feelings were returned in kind either. *Memories of that night, blurred and dizzy with J....... -* Outside his turbulent helm, the little ones' eyes met his, a bright cerulean blue that reminded Prowl of the sunlit surface of the Bering sea. *A certain visor in the sunlight came to mind.* So full, so whole, it was like the sparkling was looking within Prowl, into his spark.

The moment was broken when the sparkling unlatched from his pouch. They wriggle in his hold, as Prowl eased them onto his lap. They looked up at Prowl for a moment before patting their belly. "Pat?" Prowl felt elated, the sparkling could speak! That increased the probability of him being able to care for the sparkling tenfold. "Pat!" They repeated at him, more urgency in their voice. A small smile graced Prowl's faceplate, if the sparkling wanted to be patted who was Prowl to deny that. He began to rub their belly in a circular clockwise fashion patting gently as he went. The little one content went back to their nursing, soothed for now. Prowl moved to settle by the wall of the cove, body faced at an angle to the glass to look out at the growing crowd wandering the site while shielding the little one from view.

What would the others do if they could see him now. The terror twins would probably laughing their asses off. Many people would be loosing some lumpsum currency to smokescreen's betting pool. Prowl hadn't managed to sus out the most recent one but he was highly suspicious that his sex life was a hot topic/ running joke in action.

Optimus.....

What would J...... thin - k- .

Before he could spiral too deep into those thoughts, the sparkling unlatched a second time, pushing away from Prowl's chest. Looks like they had their fill for now. A few pats to the back made quick work of any trapped air in their system. Content and happy, the little one seemed energized enough to try and move out of his hold. With the little one now lucid, Prowl asked the burning question. "Little one, do you have a designation?"

The sparkling wordlessly looked up at him not quite getting his meaning. A questioning wirr came from their lips. Mentally Prowl sighed old speech habits died hard, perhaps he should refrain from using big words for now. "Do you have a name?" He gestured to himself. "My name is Prowl." "Prowl" he reiterated. "Pow" repeated the little one, smacking a little hand onto his chest.

Close enough Prowl figured. "

Yes, Prowl." He now gestured towards the little one, "Name?" The little one took a moment before quietly saying "Blue."

"Blue?" Prowl parroted, puzzled. Their carrier sure picked an odd choice of name for an orca mer. There really wasn't much blue to be had on this sparkling. "Blue!" the child repeated proudly, little hands now patting themself. Having answered the adult's question the little toddler saw fit to push off out of Prowl's hold. Weakly, they swam to the edge of the cove. Prowl watched on, vigilant as Blue fascinated himself with the starfish and shells littered around his cove. Little curious sounds came with every new discovery. It was a refreshing to hear, the vibration of it in the water a soothing reminder that he was no longer just his own. A quick look beyond a sand dune revealed the humans beyond. Blue recoiled like a shot, fear scented the water.

"Blue." Prowl called urgently, hoping to gain the little ones' attention to return. In response to his name, the little mer returned to his side. They snuggled into him, before revealing the item they had in hand. A little red starfish was presented. "Pow" "Pow, look!" exclaimed little Blue. "FisssH" he proclaimed proudly, chest puffed out and cheeks glowy.

Fear turned to joy. The sudden change in mood was like whiplash to Prowl.

Prowl couldn't help but laugh with mirth. "Starfish, Blue." "That is a starfish", he gently corrected. Taking the creature from their hands and placing it on the sand. "StaArfisH" Blue parroted, swimming around the little thing. With his unspent energy, Blue went out to the edge of the cove in search of more things to show "Pow", looking back occasionally to check that Prowl was still there watching him. It was comically affectionate. With each item shown to him, another starfish, a piece of kelp, an unfortunate small fish, affection slowly wrapped their tendrils around Prowl's spark.

It has been 55 cycles since he had any decent company, and despite the circumstance, he was glad to have Blue here with him.

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Horray! This fic now has a name, and a new face.

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[semi-imaginary-place]

Story is identical twins got circumcisions and one of them was messed up so badly there'd never be a "normal" penis. Fuckwad psychologist (why is it always these old cis white men psychologists that are the worst) decided to use this chance to prove his hypothesis that gender identity is entirely learned through social conditioned and tried various abusive and medical ways to make David a girl including reproductive surgeries, feminizing hormones, socialization, and whatever the fuck this is:

"Money theorized that reproductive behaviour formed the foundation of gender, and that "play at thrusting movements and copulation" was a key aspect of gender development in all primates. Starting at age six, according to Brian, the twins were forced to act out sexual acts, with David playing the female role—Money made David get down on all fours, and Brian was forced to "come up behind [him] and place his crotch against [his] buttocks". Money also forced David, in another sexual position, to have his "legs spread" with Brian on top. On "at least one occasion" Money took a photograph of the two children doing these activities.[24]

When either child resisted these activities, Money would get angry. Both David and Brian recall that Money was mild-mannered around their parents, but ill-tempered when alone with them. When they resisted inspecting each other's genitals, Money got very aggressive. David says, "He told me to take my clothes off, and I just did not do it. I just stood there. And he screamed, 'Now!' Louder than that. I thought he was going to give me a whupping. So I took my clothes off and stood there shaking."[24]"

"Both David and Brian were traumatized" no shit.

Anyways it failed. And the psychologist went on for years touting this case as proof that he was right despite every bit of evidence point to him being wrong. David continuously insisted in childhood that he was male and lived as male in adulthood after being suicidally depressed because yeah between the everyone telling him he's a girl, the forced body modification, and the sexual abuse by dr. ego. And the trauma carried through into adulthood he killed himself at age 38.

Now this is just one case if this happened to 1000 identical twin pairs maybe some of them would have identified as female what's more important is how even though David was not intersex his case highlights many of the struggles of intersex and transgender people. I mean he was assigned a gender shortly after birth and raised as that gender but always felt it was wrong and the people around him did everything to make him female. Is that not the trans experience. Gender is complicated and this case rejects dr. fuckwad's single souce explanation. Gender arises from the interplay of internally derived gender identity, gender presentation and performance, and social interplay. Gender is complicated and it's components and relationship with a person are unique to everyone. There's a lesson here too on forcing unnecessary medical procedures on intersex infants and children without their consent or sometimes against their wishes all to better conform them to a binary when even among non intersex people there is amazing diversity among bodies. And it's important that those same procedures forced on intersex infants from gonad removal, to genital reconstruction (making genitals and sticking them on), masculinizing or feminizing hormones, are the exact ones often denied to transgender teenagers who want them. Even as adults it's hard and sometimes practically impossible to get gender affirming medical care. But the right has never cared about being hypocrites only about making the world worse for the greatest number of people.

[loving-n0t-heyting]

I am opposed (vehemently opposed, in fact) to infant circumcision and the mutilation of intersex children, but appealing in these contexts to the sacrosanct “bodily autonomy” of neonates seems… off? To begin with there’s the obvious point they don’t consent to keeping unmutilated genitals either. And if yr drawing a distinction between omission and commission as the salient difference (which many of these ppl are otherwise averse to, as an alleged betrayal of the pro-autonomy spirit), there are plenty of active impositions on the bodies of infants I think almost everyone can get on board with (surgeries for those born with immediately life-threatening defects, eg). In fact christian scientists etc who prohibit such care for their kids are often themselves charged for this very reason with undermining the babies bodily autonomy!!

I don’t think you can really get around the fact you are making decisions on behalf of the newborns. Which is fine, there’s not really an alternative here, as in a billion other contexts. But one should at least be honest about it

[osokasstuff]

i want to talk about the phrase "cis people are getting gender-affirming care" and underlying assumptions and nuances. and idk how to structure my thoughts on this topic, so i'll just drop some takes and run away.

1) usually when people talk about cis people getting gender-affirming care (and how it's encouraged and not barred), they actually mean intersex people undergoing procedures that make their bodies fit better in perisex expectations of their assigned sex and gender.

1.1) although some intersex people may wish these care, a lot of intersex people are actually forced to undergo it, directly or indirectly when intersex people aren't told about their intersex status and instead are told that they have a disorder and need to undergo these treatment. without actually asking, without proper explanations, without alternatives and anything. also, this so-called "care" may be performed on infants and very young children (igm surgeries, forced hrt) who can't consent at all. and these types of intervention shouldn't be called gender-affirming care for cis people. because gender-affirming care is procedures that bring the body into the line with the person's wishes in a gender-associated sense. and "corrective" procedures performed on intersex people without their consent (consent under pressure also counts as without consent) are the opposite of it. it's conversion therapy. and we should stop mistake conversion therapy for gender-affirming care.

1.2) some people will be surprised, but sometimes intersex people get their assigned sex and gender changed and forced on other types of treatment, if society decides that will be easier. for example, someone may be assigned female, but later in life experience masculinization/more male-associated traits may be revealed, and some of these people will be reassigned male and forced on testosterone hrt/surgeries. this "care" is not gender-affirming, too. it has nothing to do with transition because transition is a consensual act, and this is violence. and if these intersex people want to get gender-affirming care to bring their body back to the first assigned gender? they get denied. they have to fight for it and face transphobia and intersexism. and sometimes they don't get it at all.

1.3) "okay but what about the very specific case when adult intersex person is cis and wishes to get gender-affirming procedures that align with their assigned sex and gender?" it's not easy for them, too. they may be denied for absurd reasons (based on intersexism). a lot of doctors wouldn't listen after "i'm intersex" and refuse to treat the patient. and if any doctor agrees, they may still be unsafe. because doctors may try to force more procedures, or be intersexist, or be incompetent in treating intersex patients, or be in general incompetent. remember how a lot of doctors know zero shit about hrt and gender-affirming surgeries? all of them still know zero shit about it when the patient is cis. and especially know zero shit when the patient is intersex because intersex bodies may work differently, may respond on hormones differently, may look differently, etc tons of medical nuances. i don't know much about this experience because i'm not cis intersex, but i assume there is way more shit.

1.4) some intersex people are cis / identifies with their assigned gender (yes, these experiences need to be separated because some intersex people don't consider themselves cis while identifies with their assigned gender) and still need gender-affirming procedures that aren't typical for their gender (for example, testosterone hrt for an intersex woman). because of health reasons, because of gender reasons, because of any reason. and they have to fight tooth and nails to get it. they get denied in gender clinics, get denied by doctors, get all possible transphobic and intersexist shit. even trans-friendly spaces are not immune to treating intersex people horrible. so it's not easy at all.

2) "okay we understood that intersexism sucks. but what about perisex cis people?" yes, there are cis perisex people who get gender-affirming care. but it doesn't look like it seems.

2.1) there actually are cis perisex people who get gender-affirming care that does not align with their assigned sex and gender! some examples: gender-nonconforming cis people who are cis but still need gender-affirming procedures; cis nonbinary people who need gender-affirming care. and it's not easy for them, too, because they have to face the same transphobia (idk if it may be considered intersexism, and i'm going to write another essay about how intersexism and transphobia are inseparable from each other, so stay with me if you wanna read it /no pressure).

2.3) "okay okay okay fuck you with your untypical cases, but what about cis perisex people who get gender-affirming care that aligns with their gender? can we bitch about them and how their life is easy?" (/joke. sorry for my poor sense of humor). there are some nuances too. i don't have these experiences and have heard not so much about these cases, so take my words with the grain of salt, but let's go.

2.4) another specific case: detrans people. people who have undergone some medical procedures but realized they're cis and need to reverse it. they don't get it easy. detransition is heavily stigmatized both in the general society and queer circles. detrans people have to navigate through transphobic systems and face transphobia, and also get their specific sort of discrimination because they detransition. i don't know much about specific problems, but i'm sure it's not easy.

2.5) and, finally, about cis perisex people who never transitioned and still need gender-affirming procedures that align with expectations from their gender. let's remember how society treats cis women who underwent breast augmentation. not very politely, yes? being a perisex cis person and having "not good enough" sex traits is a way of failing to perform the gender role. so these people get all the shit associated with not performing your gender role properly. even if it's "not their fault" (like they got some organs removed because of cancer), society doesn't give a fuck. it's still a "failure," and there will be the punishment. remember all the jokes about small dicks, not having balls, having small breast, etc etc etc? it's intersexism, yes, but it hurts cis perisex people, too. and it doesn't stop hurt cis perisex people who decide to change it. there's a genre of jokes about implants and whatever. it's still a "failure," even if people "try to make up for it."

3) and the part about "bad doctors know zero shit about gender-affirming procedures" applies to every category.

4) in conclusion, i think there's no demographic that gets gender-affirming care easily. because transphobia, intersexism, and sexism, the causes of barriers to gender-affirming care, don't suddenly finish if you have a correct identity. if someone doesn't have rights, no one has rights. that's why i think we should stop bitch about how other demographic is unaffected by some shit and gets everything easily and continue to find together for bodily autonomy and gender-related rights to everyone.

[psychoticallytrans]

It's somewhat disputed if the five to one ratio (five positive interactions for every negative one) is the precise formula we need for forming good relationships, but there is a solid logic to it. After all, if every other interaction you had with someone, or even every third interaction, was negative, you would probably not want to be around that person more than you had to be.

This, I believe, is part of what leads a lot of marginalized people to form insular communities. You experience discrimination from someone outside your marginalized group. You fall back on your marginalized ingroup, which has a built-in lower likelihood to be bigoted about that marginalization, and a higher likelihood to understand and support you. You have a positive interaction with them. Then, you venture out again, and you have another negative interaction. You may have negative interactions with the ingroup, but they are outweighed by the positive ones.

With each negative interaction with the outgroup, you will naturally spend more and more time with the ingroup. Where you feel cared for. Understood. Loved. Wanted.

Then, there are multiply marginalized people. Black trans people who go into trans groups for the same camaraderie and safety from transphobia that any other trans person does, and find antiblackness. Psychotic women who find saneism in feminist communities. Jewish intersex people who find antisemitism brewing in discussions about why people are okay with "correctional" surgery on intersex infants.

People who don't find that same walled-garden comfort that singly marginalized people can, not unless they're willing to shrink their social circle even more drastically. People who don't get to feel safe, cared for, loved, and wanted, not unless they lower their standards for it into the bedrock. That's without also considering how class in particular plays into the amount that you are able to curate who you interact with.

It makes being multiply marginalized a terribly lonely thing.